Therefore encourage one another and edify one another, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Friday, May 10, 2013

Out With The Old, In With The New


I tiptoe through my past like a robber in the night. I search for a great memory that is worth bringing with me. I was so caught up in my fantasies I couldn't determine what was real from what I had hoped for. That was the beginning of my destruction. No one stopped me. I did not care because when I am so focused not even the most beautiful words can stop me. I cried. I hurt. I got revenge. Revenge tastes so sweet until God exposes what you did.

He exposed me. He exposed me.

That was my chance to change, but instead I went back to my past and tried to ignore the pain that remained. I failed and the cycle began. It took a couple more times until my secret nights of tiptoeing began to cease. I had a few more failures and brought some unexpected things with me. I went creeping through my past so much that it was barely anything there to take. There was no more tiptoeing because my present contained those old memories. I thought they would be so sweet, so kind, but instead they stole from me. I missed out on many opportunities because I was caught up in my dreams...or dare I say nightmares. But in the midst of my mess and confusion, God spoke to me. And for the first time, I decided to listen and obey. I didn't have much hope in what He had spoken to me, but I had tremendous doubt. Every time I tried to ignore Him, He exposed the truth in my past. Every time I attempted to run from Him He exposed the pain. As He exposed, He began to heal.

Expose and heal. Expose and heal.

 I began to believe there could be a future outside of that comfortable pain. So much luggage I had brought. So many tears I had released. So much pain I had endured, but God kept me. I had searched for great memories that had continuously left me empty. I did not understand why but God kept me. I released my fear and doubt, those old fantasies and the luggage from there to now. I feel empowered. Renewed. Refreshed.

I. Am. Healed. Because He exposed me.

God's Grace,


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