My Reflection

Sleepless nights, tear stained pillows, depression, and loneliness once surrounded me. I was losing myself and I did not know how to repair me. As I looked into the mirror, I did not see a lady full of love, ambition, and strength. Instead, I saw a little girl full of strife, sorrow, and agony. “Who are you” is what I once asked myself.

As I looked at my reflection, I could not see who I ultimately was, but who the devil told me I ought to be. I heard his vicious words day in and day out telling me who I would never be. As I looked into the mirror, what did I see? I saw a frightened girl tired of her misery. He told me my life was worthless and as I looked at my reflection I began to believe him. Who am I to say I am powerful, wonderful, and amazing? 

I looked into that terrible mirror that I thought would be the last time. I wanted to give up on that dreadful life. That mirror I thought was once so terrible had a different reflection I did not usually see. The days I gaze at myself into that looking glass I have complete silence surrounding me but today was unusual I left my television on. I heard a voice booming through my small screen saying, “Joy comes in the morning”. “But how could my joy come in the morning when I have sleepless nights,” is what I uttered to myself. “No problem is too big or too small for God” is what I heard the mysterious man say. I looked back into the mirror in dismay because, who is God to rescue me from my problems when I have endured all of this pain for so long? Where was He when I cried and contemplated about taking my life?

I looked deep into the mirror for several seconds and I saw this little pocket size Bible I was given years ago. It was under my bed on top of one of my favorite sandals next to some old papers. I began to scan through it while listening to the speaker on the screen and he told me that when you’re walking with Jesus no unworthy condition will prevail.  As I listened to his angelic words, I decided to look at my reflection to see if I felt any different. I gazed at myself for almost a half an hour when I got the notion to pray. As I knelt down to pray, I felt a feeling of release taking over me. It was like a pressure was taken off of me. Prayer really changes things.

 I was once that girl that thought my life would never change, but God showed me otherwise. If it was not for His sweet comforting words, I possibly would not have been here today. Oh and that pocket size Bible I found under my bed the last scripture I read before closing it was Isaiah 41:10; It states, “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Do not give up God is with you.

Image courtesy of Free Digital Photos