Relationship…Something that every woman wants but doesn’t feel as if she deserves. The bad guys, sophisticated guys, the sweet ones so many to choose from but many migrate towards the bad ones. Why? To feel a sense of security. Writing this post made me go deep down into an area in which I had rather kept hidden but everything you do in life is a testimony. Something that I was so ashamed of could essentially impact someone’s life.
A good healthy relationship is hard to come by but the most important key is to put God first; something I didn’t realize in the beginning. Without putting your Savior first, puts you into a position of failure. How can you be successful in a relationship if you do not stand up for what you believe in? I realized I didn’t have a voice. I wasn’t ALLOWED to have one. As many women do, I too chose to be with the bad guy. The one that though the was so tough and mighty. But the question I asked myself is “Is it worth it”? The heartache. The pain. The tears. The lies. The unwanted feelings. No one deserves to be treated badly and for us as women we can get so tangled up into a fantasy that we forget our true worth. But me…I was afraid of being alone. At times I found myself lost in a deep hole. Trying to find my way out.The darkness scared me but yet that’s where I thought I belonged.
In that hole is when I found the true meaning of love. I never truly knew how it felt to be loved by someone else other than my family members. The love that you actually can feel it in your heart. The genuine love that makes your heart race and stomach flutter. But in that hole is where I began to develop my relationship with God. There I realized that God is love.So sweet, so kind, so gentle. There in that hole I learned to trust in God because I was afraid to leave a relationship in which I knew I didn’t belong.
Although I was not physically abused, there was emotional and mental distress. In my deepest darkest hours, is where I talked to God and He comforted me. As 1 Corinthians 13:4 states,“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud”. And I had neither of those. By standing up to what I believe in made me realize that God has so much more for me. A love so sincere that I knew it would be Him that blessed me with it.Today I acknowledge my past that I was so determined to run from because if it wasn’t for those heartaches I would not know the true meaning of love. To be able to love someone so freely and to know you are loved back is truly a blessing. I thank God daily for me being cheated on, lied to, laughed at, and used. Because if it wasn’t for my lows I could not truthfully be thankful for my highs. The good thing about God is He can turn your bad times into good. I learned that even in your darkest hour God has already fixed it all you have to do is acknowledge Him and He will answer. So, make sure you know your worth and embrace it because your price is far above rubies (Prov. 31:10). And like I always say, “Always put God first no matter what and He will take you far.