What would you say to a young lady who may be in a relationship and she is facing the challenge of wanting to save herself until marriage but her boyfriend is wanting to have sex?
This is a very tough question, because it's a reality for many young women. There are two things that come to mind when I think of these kind of relationships. The first is “respect.” If the guy really does respect you, then he would desire to honor your wishes that you want to save yourself until you're married. The Bible says, “Love is kind” and if he isn't kind enough to keep your wishes, you need to ask yourself, “Is he's walking in love?” The second thing is being equally “yoked”. This is the absolute most important thing you should find out before dating someone, “Does the other person have my kind of standards in purity. If the other doesn't, will I be in a compromising relationship?” I can't say “Break up with him” or “Stay with him”, all I can say is think about what I've said in this paragraph and make a decision after that.
How important do you feel it is to have a mentor or someone to talk to when things become difficult?
Having a godly person in your life to council you in good and bad times is extremely important! My parents have always been my mentors. Honestly, I'm not sure how strong I would have been if it wasn't for their advice. Throughout my process from being single to courtship to engagement, I've always asked for their advice. It doesn’t stop there. I will constantly ask for counsel about life even after the wedding. If you don't have Godly parents to advise you, talk with local Godly people in your church, pastors or elders.
How do you handle the pressure or if you have ever had to deal with the pressure from friends of saving yourself for marriage?
Good question. Sexual pressure was always there in high school. Even after high school it was there. For years I wanted to save sex for marriage. I remember when I entered high school I started to really realize how that was a minority belief. Everyone, it seemed, was having sex in high school. I can recall one time when a guy was telling me about how he had sex. Then he asked me “Are you still a virgin?” I was like “...yeah”. It really threw him off when I said I was! He was bragging about all the crazy parties, the girls, the sex, and everything else but once I told him I still “rocked my V Card” it puzzled him. He began to think, and said to me, “Wow, that's really awesome.” Stand for what you believe in sexual purity, even when it’s not popular.
Do you think today’s generation is losing their beliefs on maintaining their purity until marriage?
I fear for this generation. I don't say that because every Christian says that to motivate people to change, I seriously fear for them. Sexual immorality of today is above and beyond where it should be! I hear of 12 year old having sex, and it just breaks my heart! The reason why sexual immorality is so out of control is mainly because the lack of one word, family. The family structure is being COMPLETELY destroyed and polluted by lust of every kind. The lack of fathers in the lives of young people has a big part to do with it. Now that the fathers are gone, the mothers have to get out of their role, from developing the children, to being the “man” and “woman” of the house. The kids grow up not knowing what a true functional family looks like so they try to find it through other teens in their schools who are in the same family depraved situation. Plus the media really isn't helping out at all. Movies, music, magazines, TV shows, etc. are polluted with sex! Then all the teens are talking about sex and telling stories of their experiences. So the generation isn't being raised by the family, but its being raised and matured through sex. What this world truly needs is people taking a stand and waiting to have sex when their married. And if you're reading this, and you feel like you're the only person in your school or work place who is taking a stand for purity, always remember the power of one. Maybe your testimony will effect everyone around you. We live in a dark world. If you don't let your light shine, who will?
What would you say to those who want to maintain or begin from this point forward with the decision to stay sexually pure until marriage, but those around them are not being very accepting of their decision?
To those people, I would say stay strong! Remember that your strength doesn't come from within, but comes from Christ because “I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me”. As much trials and persecution come from you taking this stand, remember, it will only make you stronger. I took a stand for what I believed in high school and I got made fun of sometimes. I learned it doesn't matter what people say (as hard as that may seem), but it only matters what God says. Do you fear what people say over what God says? So just stand strong and know who you are in Christ.
Sexual purity has never been a popular thing in history. From Genesis to Revelations even to modern day, man has struggled with every kind of sexual immorality. Romans 12:2 says “Don't conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind”. We can't conform to the sexual immorality that's all around us. We must stay holy (set apart) for God in these tough times, even when it's unpopular.
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. “ 1 Corinthians 6:18
I hope this truly helped someone and informed all of you (male and female) on purity.
I would like to extend another thank you to Trae King for taking time to share with us here on his view of Sexual Purity.